My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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