she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
