Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
