Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
