Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So many bounce houses so little time
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
