i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
