so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
