Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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