I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
