and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
