It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
