Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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