I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
