her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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