I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
