I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
