So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
