ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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