idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
