I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
