Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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