You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
