if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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