u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
