Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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