i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
