I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
