Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
