first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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