You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
