Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
