He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
