I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
