PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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