I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im holly from the hills drunk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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