i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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