Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
