ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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