Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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