She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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