He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
