I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
