The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
