anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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