i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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