I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
