Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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