i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
