So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
