i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize